be on the ball

karen, remember the theory of being on the ball? c’mon girl.. don’t slack and trip. don’t fall from on top of the ball.. move and move swift.. roll further, control the ball and not otherwise. 

always be on the ball, essentially you have to always be on your toes to keep the ball rolling. game on. 

Stupid is as stupid does

I think no one is stupid, just not wanting.

Not wanting to know..
Not wanting to succeed..
Not wanting to grow up..
Not wanting to commit..
Not wanting to save..
Not wanting to learn..
Not wanting to be better..
Not wanting to be more competent..
Not wanting to put effort..
Not wanting to listen..
Not wanting to be taught a lesson..
Not wanting to give a chance.

No one is stupid. People are just resisting and not wanting to be cleverer.

security is a state of mind. so create one.

of age and skimpiness

visits to the gym always enlighten me. tai-tais that look like a million dollar, so polished and working out hard. aunties that look like they just punch out of the Accountant's Office, mismatched clothings and waiting for the next Body Combat class. giggly girls, pretty, young, hot and otherwise, some seem composed, others look too much to impress.

makes me wonder.. one pays so much for a premium gym but is clueless on appropriate dress codes. this is what i would like to term as 'victims of situations'. maybe they JUST don't know better. skimpy or otherwise, appropriateness is the basic level before we even go skimpy.

of sex and monologue

and so they say that girls should be modest.. should stay at home. sexual liberation is forbidden, taboo to want sex. to want to fuck, to want to feel a man. bad girls go around, sleep around, have plenty of sex. used, dirty, whores, fucked. and so they say good girls know nothing about sex; ideally.

but shouldn't good girls be those who can take care of their own needs and cravings? and be good at self-pleasure?

if they tell me that absolutely good girls should not have notion of sex at all, it breaks my heart.

they, who? society, perhaps... maybe i am stuck in the time before now.

have you found your fight?

i seem to have this habit to write on Sundays. inspiration so to speak, to speak my mind.. time of the week to indulge and interact with all the thoughts, big or small, that have all been residing in my head. related or not, coherent or otherwise.

today's indulgence is to question a fight. your fight. my fight. our fight, together. their fight.

what do you fight for? what do you fight against? what do you think people should fight for, or should let go off?

there are so many things happening at the same time. massacre, earth quake, artist dying, your neighbour having a divorce, your best friend not talking to you, the schools in your hometown not having proper buildings, classrooms.. animals abused, trees being chopped off, technology work hand in hand with pollutants to kill Mother Earth.. just to name a few.

we can feel bad for all the bad things that are happening to other people, near or far. but feeling bad, pity, regret, compassion and whatnot can mean so much more if one were to take action and fight for a cause, don't you think? standing up for a cause and taking tangible actions should be cultivated. like how we are encouraged to save 10% of our salary every month, we should maybe dedicate 10% of our time to champion a cause, some causes.

source: Pictures and Quotes

have you found your fight? i am still looking.. i hope i don't have to look too long, or too far.

Honey, be glad to know me. I hope I have made an impression in your life as much as you have made an impact in mine. But IT IS JUST NOT GOING TO HAPPEN if you are going to pick and choose the parts and pieces of me that you want to have, to know, to love. KNOW ME, LOVE ME, EMBRACE ME for all that I am. My lameness, my love for all things explicit, all things censored, all things norm-defying. For only then you are able to have the whole of me as your friend, and nothing less.

MAKE IT HAPPEN LOVE,

BECAUSE I AM.

don't forget to remember..

E.E. Cummings

the feeling of being seen when in the sea of people, is wonderful.

Happy Easter all~

“You have to be always drunk. That’s all there is to it—it’s the only way. So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks your back and bends you to the earth, you have to be continually drunk.

But on what? Wine, poetry or virtue, as you wish. But be drunk.

And if sometimes, on the steps of a palace or the green grass of a ditch, in the mournful solitude of your room, you wake again, drunkenness already diminishing or gone, ask the wind, the wave, the star, the bird, the clock, everything that is flying, everything that is groaning, everything that is rolling, everything that is singing, everything that is speaking…ask what time it is and wind, wave, star, bird, clock will answer you: “It is time to be drunk! So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish.”
— Charles Baudelaire

distance

there is a reason why people keep the ones close at a distance, and the ones foreign, close.

when people get closer, it's harder to let out. those who are foreign could get nearer because they are still interesting, still new, still a blank notebook to be filled.. people who are close know too much and pose a higher risk to hurt. people who know, hurt.

the one on dad..

now that dad is no longer here. my home is more peaceful. less fights, less tension, mostly trivial. and also, scarily, i don't want to think that it has turned superficial. strong emotions stem from genuine care and concern, deep and much love.

i miss him nevertheless.

RIP Dad, i still wonder.

the Mother is in my head

the Sun has always wanted to leave. He has, for the longest time, longed to leave this space... to venture into another dimension, where nothing is real and he doesn't have to rise and set, he doesn't have to behave on HIS day, he doesn't have to be responsible for the flowers blooming, the trees fit and healthy, and human laughing among others.

the Sun has always wanted to do what he wants to do and not be responsible for 1 million other things that is solely/directly/indirectly dependant on him. he does not want to be liable.

the Sun, has always wanted to know what it feels like to be cold. the cold he feels inside is so far off in comparison to the cold that he cannot feel on the outside.

~

the Moon was the lost limb. the ugly toe, if i may. and the Moon is so blessed to have a simple mind with contentment in his heart. all he does is to dream the alternate life that he anticipates to being true, one of these days.

~

and the end will be when the bits and pieces of the limbs reconnect into something whole, and perfect.

Neil Gaiman and the thoughts of fragrance got me thinking...

Before SHE comes, she'll reach first.
Before SHE's here, she'll announce her presence.
Some smile, some scorn, some turn.
Before SHE speaks, she'll say first.

Before we know HER, the perfume(she) lingers..

the one on different sex

you know how women will look like they've aged ten years once they have kids, juggle between family and work, kids and husband? and how men will still age gracefully, shades of grey to hint sophistication and stability?

oh well, note to self: never be ordinary. be ordinary in an extraordinary way, if that day comes where i'm a proud mother and have a happy family, i'll make sure i look good being one!

the mind speaks

you know why i don't narrate about my life but write somewhat incoherent thoughts? because my life is a bore

segment the mind into pockets, and file them into sections. focus

zombies live on saturday mornings

like what Thye Chuan said, 'Everyday is a learning experience'.

something happened on Friday, it was like i experienced an epiphany of sort. unlike a certain Alexandra Wallace, my epiphany wasn't interrupted.

it was an experience that i suddenly realise that 'hey, i can actually do this!'

right, i know. this post makes no sense whatsoever. thanks for reading, it's one of those brainless saturday morning posts.

anyone can play, not everyone is a winner

when you are the player, you are then not the linesman. players are not keen to be stopped when they cross the lines. players are not the ones drawing the lines anyways.

when you play, make sure you play smart so as to not get caught by the linesman..

it's simple, you just gotta open your eyes and keep 'em open!

I don't know how to start or where to start, public blogging has somehow feel weird for me. the self-consciousness, the knowledge that everyone and anyone could be reading what i write. it's overwhelming. and i haven't been updating this blog for a while as compared to the other one i have. and so it begins.. again.

i've became self-conscious of the people around me, the kind of people i mix with, the drive in people, the passion, the determination/goals (or the lack of), the habit, the views, the vision (again, or the lack of..) and the purpose in people. it's sometimes amazing, other times disappointing but always entertaining to watch, observe.

and do you notice how successful people always get up early? they start their days way earlier than normal people do? i'm trying to emulate the bits and pieces, habits or whatnot of seemingly successful people.. taken from Outliers, there must be some common grounds on how successful people behave, no? -this might be flawed, i have yet to finish Outliers-

and i guess i'll start my journey to success by starting my days earlier, than normal!

share with me, what other noticeable traits of successful people huh?


-apologies this post seem to not flow, like i said, i havent blogged for public consumption in a while now, it'll get better over time, i hope.

-this post is also influenced by Story of a New Habit: How I Started to Wake Up at 5am.

as honest as i can be, sometimes i don't see

as much as you try standing behind that pillar, people see.

as much as you try to stand under the spotlight, darkness overrules.

as much as i may tell myself i no longer ask, 'why' still escapes me..

cultivate mistakes

i think i now know what it feels like. for me to share my experiences with people younger than me, at the same time i have this notion in my head telling me, 'hey, let them experience life at their own pace. let them make all the mistakes. let them get burnt, let them go down the wrong paths. they learn at their own pace and they learn better lessons, more valuable ones than being told, being cautioned what is right/wrong/should/should not'.


when i was told/shared stories of how i should pay attention to this, consider that.. i reflect on all the younger people whom i've spoken to. like them, i should be allowed to grow at my own pace, make all the mistakes, collect all the experiences and venture into all the forbidden territories as much as i can to really learn..

somemore dough, anyone?

in today's world, when i come across a person who is money-conscious and advocates debt-free lifestyle, it's an immediate plus point.

too many people earn too little and spend too much. contingency plan much?

it's obvious

as i recap today, i realise that we are all walking billboards of unspoken thoughts, unannounced dissatisfactions and unnoticed feelings. some are afraid to stand up, some are complacent, most choose to ignore the feelings, the calling and/or the given opportunity to right the wrong.

we are all billboards containing many mixed messages in many colourful words and languages, walking about in 3D world, confining the make-believe 2D thoughts

fear gets defeated with action, made stronger with inaction.

we adopt habits as long as we live

a new habit that i've adopted. to check on work emails on sunday nights. i've long noticed that i could be quite the workaholic if i didnt put myself on checks.

coinciding with my believe for passion.

we respect ourselves the way we treat our work and the way we perform, the way we live life. utmost respect when we do things correctly and walking the extra mile. no, i don't think i'm stupid nor having a lot of wishful thoughts.. i know i can be somebody and go somewhere, just gotta work towards it, and work along the lines of dreams and aspirations.

i'm not stupid, i just need to get sorted out.

try as i may, i can never break free from the dark side. have been trying to tweak the look and feel of this site for the past one hour. still the same ol' red, dark and mysterious feel.

i envy people who maintain commercial blogs.

have you noticed?

have you noticed? how everything is either a 'reason' or a 'cause'.

quite simply put we often either 'justify' or 'blame'.

have you noticed?

it's good to hug, you know why? then people can come tell me 'eh what happened Karen? you lost so much weight since the last time i saw you. when i hugged you, it felt like you've shrunk!'

i wonder why have i shrunk?

hug me tight

what's up with hugs?

hugs are good. hugs are intimate. hugs bring people closer. it brings people together. hugs momentarily cut off the distance, the space, the nothingness. hugs attract, they string people together. and they are free!

so i was quite taken aback when people showed hints of surprise when given a hug.

but why? o.O