hell/earth/heaven

Maybe this world is another planet’s hell. -Aldous Huxley

this means that our world may not be so bad after all... if we are another planet's hell, another world could be our hell.we got it good here compared to wherever that may be..

i'm not easily comprehensible.

it's frustrating and annoying right?

the wrong is only wrong to the person who sees it as a wrong. when you choose to see it right, it will be right.

and maybe i won't

i must remember, or consciously remind myself to not put off writing when i feel like doing it. there were a few thoughts that i've wanted to pen down these past few weeks but i put them all at the back of my mind and i never did. maybe it's not an entirely bad thing, if it's important or of enough significance, i will put it down at one of my vaults, somehow, one way or another, at some point in my life.

it's a keepsake, really. every single thoughts written in all my blogs are meant to serve as memories of times past. i want to be able to read back and relive the emotions that i've felt when i was writing the thoughts, experiencing the story. i want to be able to cry, laugh and shock myself at all the life experiences that i've gone through.. the times of silliness, immaturity and unstable hormones. and maybe, one day, i'll read some of my posts to my kids as their bedtime story.. maybe, just maybe.

the one on lemons

there is often no definite right or wrong answers in life. there is always a choice, if not choices. i think i can go to the extend of saying everything can be decided in accordance to a choice, or against an option. even when a terrorist points a gun to your head, threatening you to do something, you can choose to do it or not. it's a choice.

so when friends made passing remarks about my boobs, i often laugh with 'em. then almost quite regularly i will recap on what happened and re-evaluate the comments. 'should i flip? was he being rude? was he being sexist? it wasn't disrespectful, was it? hmmmm' all these thoughts will then flood my head.

a recent example is when a friend casually commented about me having to go for interviews and that the interviewer will probably be focusing on you-know-where, rather than looking into my eyes, if he was a male. honestly, i was quite taken aback when i hear that. firstly, i don't think my assets are that big a deal to make such impact (unless of course i show up for interview in low cut blouse complemented with push-up bra) and secondly, quite naively it didnt occur to me the subject of opposites attract, u know? male interviewing female candidates. i was focussed on it being a formal thing, employer to potential employee rather than male vs female encounter. the raw feeling of my hearing that was uneasiness, bordering at anger. 'did he just referred to me as a piece of meat to be auctioned? flesh on displayed to be ogled at and sold to the highest bidder?' and thankfully before my vicious conscience is able to feed my anger anymore, the other voice inside of me whispered 'hey, it's not like that. it's better to have assets than to have nothing at all. it's better to have been accepted to fill a position than be unemployed with the bills piling.' right..? right......!

so you see, i can make use of the situation to my advantage, or i can fight it and resist acknowledgement. but why make life so hard when it's supposed to be easier given the lemons?

'when life gives you lemon, you make lemonade!' right...? right!

ps: having blogged this, i sincerely think that none of my interviewers gawked at my lemons. and i'm pretty sure that i do not have to thank my lemons for the job that i've secured.

pps: before you start imagining (or worse, speculating..), my lemons are of decent Malaysian girls' size. it's urm, more outstanding coz of my small frame.

ppps: this is my view, and my views only. i'm not saying it is okay to make use of assets(whatever it is that you have) to secure a job/get something a person wants. kthxbai

so many half baked ideas, so many distractions, so much time, nothing written. hmmmm

maybe, i'm afraid of myself.

one could be 'not in service'

there's really two ways of looking at things.

when you come across a motel that's full. you could either think 'it's disgusting. people are taking time off to fuck each other's brain out. adulterous pigs, sinners!'... OR you could think 'so much love in the world, motels are all full'.

read me wise. i'm trying to say you choose how you want to think, and how you want to look at the world, at problems, at issues, at people, at situations, at yourself.

less is more

source: PostSecret

where less is actually more...

when there's crack lines. hurry up to rebuild it. before it is too late.

the business of pleasure

ever thought of asking for payment after sex? or maybe negotiate on the payment before sex? no, i'm not citing a transaction between a whore and a customer. not the typical business transaction between two individuals engaging in the business of pleasure. what i'm saying is merely a suggestion on how to inject spice into your sex lives.

give it a thought. play the role of a dirty whore, when you know 'somehow' you're being paid for your service, you'll assume the role of the temptress, the sex goddess (perhaps you could 'charge' RM10,000 per night) and deliver the kind of 'service' a high class escort of RM10,000/night will deliver. the control, the confidence, the power over the man paying you.. the eagerness. of course, it's a make-believe confidence and make-believe role-play. but, if you allow yourself to let loose and immerse fully into the role that you are playing, you'll be in for surprises.. minx aren't born, they are made.

it's not hard to spice up mundane sex lives, really. just takes a little bit of imagination, a little enthusiasm, a little adventure and a very hungry mind.

read beyond the story, read between the lines

Opportunity dances with those on the dance floor. -- Anonymous

how to dance? when i'm constantly feeling the paranoia of not being able to dance as good as the others? the worry of my heels breaking, my skirt tearing, my dance moves going haywire and that the crush of my life will find me disgusting. it's like high school prom all over again.

the other problem that adds to the confusion is a mixture of disapproving looks from the teachers, mom choosing my prom dress (*gasp* horror, i know), mom curling my hair to resemble the 70s star and mom doing my make up! dad driving me to the prom while my brother stood guard the entire time. - read: red tapes.. not making the process of making a choice any easier.

yeah, it's easy to say 'take a leap of faith, take the plunge, why not just do it?'. i wish i can.. but deep down i know the answers to all the 'why not'.

the safe

i dont have a consistent vault. i dont confide in the same person for all issues. different selected individuals know different aspects and deepest darkest secret in my life. it’s safer not to have one person holding THE key to my closet.

i practice keeping many vaults, different places, filled in at different times. you’ll have to find these individuals and read from these vaults to wholly grasp my essence of being..

authentically so

it's hard to reconnect. it's hard to let out the current situation when i haven't been sharing all that has been going on, from day 1. it doesn't feel right to retell the whole story at one go. the feelings won't be as authentic, nor will the story be as real.

the next time you ask me whether i am okay, i will just nod and smile and say 'i am fine'.

reserve

always reserve :

never speak too loudly

never defend too strongly

never back down too easily.


reserve and balance, for you might not know when the statements, the defence, the defeat will come back to haunt you. you will never know, it's a vicious chain effect. reserve and leave a lil' space for salvation.

CEO of J.P Morgan Fantastic reply to a Pretty Girl

MINDBLOWING THOUGHT PROCESS!!!

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York. My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?

I wanted to ask:
what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York CityGarden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
Which age group should I target?
Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? My target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty


Awesome reply:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours.
Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.

However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later. By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me...

signed,
J.P. Morgan

im a useless piece of pretty shit, if u ask me

labels

somehow a continuation from the previous:

when you label yourself, you make yourself believe you are. like the word 'procrastinator' for example. noone should use that as an adjective on self. it's harmful.

perception

i somehow have this perception that when you label yourself to belong to a certain category, you're giving others a chance to have a pre-judgment about who you are.

for example: if i were to describe myself as 'sexy, funny as hell, entrepreneur, smooth talker, witty and humourous', people who dont know me will have an expectation of the real me being like as per description. takes a whole lotta fun out of exploring what the other has to offer, dont u think? bt it does help to make things simpler, in the sense you knw what to expect, you subconsciously adapt to behave to how that person is said to be, and it makes the process of getting to really knw the other person much less work.. as most part has been said, just the actual experiencing that persona is yet/soon to happen.



do i make sense? u hear me? this is so coherent to me, pls tell me it is to u too.

smell the coffee yet?

By Stanley Koh

COMMENT
It turns out that the government you voted in will not hold your hand to see you through hard times. Instead, it will make sure to add to your suffering because that is the easiest way it can avoid going bankrupt.
Barisan Nasional has apparently decided that the time has come to remove or cut subsidies — the kind of subsidies that poor people depend on, not the kind enjoyed by big corporations and monopolistic suppliers of utilities and infrastructural support.So what is the use of a government that will eagerly shake your hand during election time but will not hesitate to pull the rug from under your feet when it needs to save itself?Few believe that the removal of subsidies on essential food items and fuels can save the Malaysian government from possible bankruptcy. If it does go bankrupt, it will be because it has failed to cleanse a corrupt system.
It is better for Malaysians to be rich and to control a bankrupt government than to be poor and controlled by a corrupt government. Many countries have rich citizens with bankrupt governments.
You do not need an economist to tell you that RM100 in Malaysia today does not buy as much as it did last year.
In what we may call the Malaysian Misery Index, we can see that food prices have been spiralling upwards for years. For example, fresh tenggiri, which was RM13.23 a kilo in 1997, now costs RM40 a kilo. A roasted duck cost RM13.47 in 1997, but is now at least RM38. And Malaysians have become used to the doubling in price of some food items during festive seasons.
Most Malaysians do not expect the situation to improve. Food prices will continue to go up and there is little hope that they will come down again.
Two years ago, the BN government announced that it had set up a US$1.25 billion fund to increase food production and that it was targeting 100% self-sufficiency in rice consumption. What has happened to the fund and the target?Nevertheless, the escalation in food prices is only one of the financial worries of most Malaysians. Other worries include the general cost of living, salary changes and debts.

Double whammy
When the GST (goods and services tax) is fully implemented in 2011, it will be a double whammy for poor and middle-income households, pensioners, the unemployed and single parents.
Some have argued that imposing GST on Malaysian does not make much economic sense when only 6.8% of the population are taxpayers and a large majority earn low incomes. Furthermore, it is acknowledged that most of us are paying hidden taxes in highway tolls and electricity tariffs.
Indeed, the future looks bleak.Yet, quite a number of us are gullible enough to think that the government will protect consumers. Are we not being stupid? Isn't it better to be wiser and brace for tougher times ahead?
Instead of believing the promises of a government that has a dismal performance record, we should believe the law of inflation, which says, “Whatever goes up will go up some more.”
Ronald Reagan once described inflation as a violent mugger, a threatening armed robber and a deadly hit man. In the Malaysian context, that is an apt description not of inflation, but of the BN government’s behaviour and policies.
Unlike grey hair or extra pounds, inflation, Malaysian-style, does not sneak in gradually. One of the outstanding characteristic of our government is that it can cause inflation to explode overnight, such as when an official makes a snappy and stupid policy decision on pricing.
So how do we fight the inflation of food prices?
Economists generally agree that the average Malaysian household spends about 75% of its income on food. Food price hikes will therefore have an adverse impact upon disposable income and force us to make a lifestyle change.

To fight inflation
Here are some of the things we can do:
· Stop eating at expensive restaurants.
· Boycott traders, hypermarkets and hawker stalls that charge unreasonable prices.
· Shop intelligently for value and do not be too impressed by branding.
· Work out a budget before buying. Look out for special sales.
· Prevent wastage by not buying more than you can eat.
· Tell friends and acquaintances about shops that charge excessively.
· Avoid buying expensive beverages or foodstuff and find alternatives for nutritional value.
· Boycott chained markets and fast-food joints. They are monopolised by a few large companies and can therefore raise prices at whim.

When inflation reached a six-year high at the end of 2005, even the price of the humble bean sprout went up by 10 sen a kilo. Reason: A gunnysack of beans went up from RM75 to RM135.
Today, even death is becoming exorbitant. The cost of cremation is expected to rise soon from RM100 to anything between RM200 and RM300.Perhaps economist Milton Friedman was right when he said, “If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara desert, in five years there will be a shortage of sand.”
Malaysians do not take the official Consumer Price Index (CPI) seriously. They know it does not accurately reflect price rises in essential foodstuffs.
Many suspect that the government uses it as an instrument to deceive the public into thinking that things are hunky-dory when they are not. The government develops statistics so that the inflation-weary public would direct its hostility towards businesses, and not blame official mismanagement.The average household consumption expenditure over the last 20 years has increased by 181.8%. In 1973, it was RM412. By 1993-94, it had gone up to RM1,161. In 1999, it touched RM1,631.
According to Prof Lim Teck Ghee, real household income has been growing, but at the snail-pace rate of 0.9% per year. More than half of the population are in the low-income category. Today, a family of five spends 50% to 60% of household income on food compared with 20% in 1998 and 15% in 1988. Not long ago, there was official acknowledgement that 95% of families are finding it hard to cope with the rise in food prices.
In fact, the biggest failure of the Ninth Malaysia Plan is that it did not help Malaysians improve their quality of living. Inflation, whether it is imported or locally generated, raises the cost of living and lowers the quality of living.
When five out of 10 Malaysians are prone to mental problems and other disorders due to the pressures involved in trying to support their families, it is time for the government to wake up.

'Why not change the government?'
In 2006, when Najib Tun Razak was Deputy Prime Minister, he asked Malaysians to change their lifestyle in the face of the rising cost of living. A blogger by the name of Chong wrote in response: “Perhaps, the prime minister should have done some simple calculations himself. People like us basically have no lifestyle, just merely surviving with our earnings. So how are we going to change (our lifestyle)? “Inflation has gone up 4.5% (and above) and the government is pushing the cost of living higher by increasing electricity tariffs, but our income remains the same.”
Others felt it would be easier to change the government than to change a non-existent lifestyle.
“Instead of listening to Najib asking us to change,” one critic remarked, “why not we change the government at the next general election?”
To me, that makes a lot of sense. Any government that is willing to build air-conditioned toilets around a city at more than RM100,000 each has no business planning a national economy.
When such a government decides to cut subsidies, many of us will wonder whether the so-called “savings” will instead go towards more majestic arches, fanciful lampposts, refurbishments of VIP residences, luxurious government bungalows and fruitless overseas trips by ministers.
Any government that stands accused of having wasted RM320 billion in 20 years — through corruption, wastage and mismanagement — definitely does not deserve to be re-elected.


This article was written by the head of research unit at MCA, for once i was happy,to see such writing with facts which most malaysian were blinded from, although it seems so far from a change. Me personally since I got back were sick of this 1Malaysia campaign. Having travel the world this campaign is to me no other than a new form of propaganda all over again.
Ed

food for thought people. have you registered as a voter? -karen

age old debate of want and need

you have to know what you WANT before you can plan/do what you NEED to do.

i don't think i know what i WANT, or whether i WANT it.

it makes total sense

what happened?

'nothing' happened. that's why

all the world's a stage, everyone is in the play

i'm a walking contradiction. sometimes what i thought i know, is not right. and what i thought i didn't know is right there, in my practise all along. i appear happy, which is contradicting the mood i SHOULD be feeling, my dad just passed away on the 1st of September. it's a fact that i am not letting myself forget. i couldn't forget and i will not forget. it's a form of punishment.

i miss him, i do. today i reminisce and i regret many things. lately i talk to people, many people, from different backgrounds and shared different stories, and i miss him even more. i wish i have more things to talk about that is not superficial. i wish i can share substantial things with people and help make a difference.

i remember the founder of TOC, Adelaine Foo said,"everyone has a job to do". true enough, everyone has a job to do and a character to play. a role to stick by, responsibilities to fulfill. 'all the world's a stage' and everyone is in the play. i try hard to play my part, and to play it well, play it nice, make the play as phenomenal as can be..

hopeful

critical time for LFC, let's just have faith things will be alright.

young 'uns

do you take an active role in shaping the future generation?

do you see a teen, shake your head left and right before walking away, or will you actually approach, take up the responsibility of taking him/her under your guidance?

i try to care more, but sometimes i feel that it is redundant.

it's starting to eat me up, inside.

have you given your best in the things you do?

if only everyone choose what they do carefully, then do what they choose passionately, work towards being the best in what they do tirelessly, we could be an advanced nation in no time.

too many people let chance happen, let fate decides, let nature rules and let the inner voice stay shut.

too many people follow

purposely accidental

i didnt do it on purpose.

but i accidentally recapped my life and hey.... i have always been the yellow one.



*gulp*


some things just dont change

but then again..

some people might be quick to come out with remarks like 'hey look at him/her, he/she has got everything and he/she still complains. such ungrateful bastard/bitch.'

it's way too common isn't it.

but then again, if you have walked in that person's shoes and has taken every single step in that person's life and went through every single event that leads to that moment of frustration (whatever it may be) and you can still lash out to deem that person ungrateful, then yes, you are entitled for that comment. but if you have not, don't you think you're a little too quick to judge? just cause things look good on others and your life stinks right now doesn't automatically grant you permission to be judgmental.

jus' sayin'. people need to be reminded, often.

we thought we know

the subconscious vice : we always want to be the other person across the street, without realising that he who stands there longs for the exact same thing; to be us over here, on this side of the walkway.

only cause the dying flowers and harsh insects look like rainbow of petals and butterflies from afar

human nature

Human Nature : we only appreciate what we lost.

Notty and Nice is privatised.

Please leave email addresses. Eligible readers will be given access. Thanks

the only constant is change

Dear Karen,

Remember, you are but a tiny spec in the whole wide world. When part of your world dies, the humongous rest of the world goes on. Nothing stops. The very few who mourns with you feel you, understand you and see you. While another number tries to sympathize and support, they cannot fully understand how it must have felt like.

This is not an excuse. Make this a reason to be stronger. Noone needs to back down/give way just cause you mourn your loss at your own expense.

My conscience is telling me 'i told you so'.


Everyone grieves differently. You have better grieve in silence for the tears at night cannot justify the amount of guilt you should be feeling. RIP dad.

figmented

i am fidgety today. i have no idea why. it just doesn't feel right. self-help doesn't help. thus i spent quite alot of time writing multiple blog posts, tweeting and still, i am afraid that i am not heard, enough.

how should i put it? i want to interact with people. i love to hear what people think and see and do, how people will obviously react, or subconsciously behave. how people view certain taboo topics, opinions behind closed doors.

it's not so easy to meet people with the same wavelength as i do. what more people who get what i try to say, voice out. my (mostly)subtle injection of sarcasm in my conversation. you know, people who will just *snap* GET IT.

maybe it's just not that easy to encounter people who are not so rigid with their thinking and views. i'm all for strong opinions, hard-held beliefs, but i just think that one might see/learn/discover so much more if they allow the chance.

there is really no concrete point here. just figments of my thoughts.

square like a box

karen world is square. becareful where you step, which path you take, for you may just end up free falling into the endless sky.

always.take.calculated.risks

inevitable

human nature, we resist changes. we make it hard for ourselves when the change is inevitable.

laughter anyone?

Hi, anyone wanna catch this together?

oh my skirt

the unfortunate incident of a torn tight skirt.

was parked at Sunway to go to the bank. parking meter wasn't paid, 5 mins later, rushing and stopped the MPSJ from issuing a ticket. i didnt get a ticket. my skirt was torn.

proceed to go for an appointment, visited the housekeeping department at SUnway Medical, sewed my skirt.leaving from Sunway Medical, step into the car, stretched and skirt got torn again.

2nd visit to the bank, with torn skirt, signed some papers. lucky thing the hire-purchase officer is nice enough to sponsor me a file as cover. (lucky thing slit at the back wasnt so high as to show my ass, but almost)


LOL life's like that huh? becareful what you put on before stepping out of the house, huh.. lol

LMFAO

please go read the comments on this post for good ol' jolly laughters :

Niamah!! MACC Internal Affairs

anyone wanna catch it? i'm interested

i swear to you, my life will get shorter just by dealing with printers!

i didnt do it on purpose

maybe you should know this:

a fren will always caution me 'tolong jangan lucahkan ayat i'.

WORD

d-I.S-c

u know DISC? apparently i am a person with high I and S, with very low C. how apt.

i notice this: i blend in well, and people like to hang with me, and oh, i am certified emo kid.

there will never be a next time

angry sex. looks yummy


Megan Fox is too hot.

spur of a moment

my phone has camera function.

my phone has 'send picture to blog' button.

i toyed and created a mobile blog via my phone.

at that very moment..

was at the gym, the pool looks so inviting. like it's calling to engulf me in it. and i so wanted to be taken by it.


mobile blog will be active. i will snap and blog whenever and wherever.


i hope you like it

haters will doubt

am currently on Facebook ban. tentatively till September.


if you cannot get enough of my nonsensical status updates on facebook now that i am on facebook ban, pls proceed to my twitter.

=)

ciao

baby steps are wonderful

LIFE is GREAT. it has been a while since i last count the number of days there are till weekend, urge the hands of clock to move faster to reach 5.30pm, wish for the time to pass slower on weekends. it somehow trigger a funny feeling when i see people saying thanks and shouting TGIFriday for the weekend is here. believe it or not, i miss that feeling, somehow. things were simpler, responsibility and weight were lighter those days.

Nevertheless, life has been great. You must agree with me that the 'baby stage' of life is the best. the time we learn new things, explore new ideas, learn how to crawl before learning how to walk and eventually run. times that we were allow mistakes, where people are more tolerant, more forgiving, supportive and open to teach. times where most are teachers and few are competitors. time to cherish, to grow into a SOMEBODY.

'baby time' doesnt mean succumbing to be a 'victim'. we must be an awesome enough baby to take ownership, to take credit and responsibility for all the triumph, all the steps that we have successfully taken or fall that happen. we mustn't blame, fall victim to 'other people's mistake/misguidance/incompetence' and justify our lack of performance. IT DOESNT MATTER IF YOUR TEACHER IS AN ASS, YOU WILL LEARN THE CORRECT WAY TO LIVE, IF YOU ARE SMART ENOUGH TO CHOOSE AND PICK AND LEARN TO MAKE THE TRICKS YOUR OWN'.


don't fall trap to 'victim syndrome' and don't ever ever miss the chance of being a baby, again. =)

they say don't blame

the world seem a much more dangerous place, when i slowly see the person that i am becoming

still lingering on NZ

if only i have a chance to redo my NZ days, there will definitely be no boundaries.

i regret this part, much

cowardice tragedy

can i do the reverse?

can i be the ULTIMATE LOSER before rising to be a mediocre, and eventually, a winner?

this way, all eyes WILL NOT be ON ME. and i can take my time to work my stratagems.

this is cowardly, right?

this is a contradictory one

i have been blog hopping quite often these days. dirty blogs, inspiring blogs, fashion blogs, nonsensical blogs, somehow-make-sense-but-too-many-words blogs.. just too many blogs.

i'm amazed at how bloggers are able to inspire the readers. or am i easily inspired?

and the natural thing to do is to reflect and look back at my own blogs. and sulk. i wish i am that good. or that funny, or that intelligent. well, maybe i am.

i honestly feel, realise and think that i am turning into a bimbo.

please help me look for my brain, thanks.

have you ever wondered?

History of the Vibe

leave it to chance, you say?

u know we always hear people talk about 'second chances'. about how we should all forgive and allow another chance for redemption, for good to finally come out of the bad. how a person will actually turn over a new leaf, lead a new life and make worthy of his/her living, start over.

but then i seem to notice that people hardly even make room for any chance, what more when we are talking about second chance.

it seems to be a culture of 'make or break', no more 'trial and error'. it's often 'show me what you got or i'll show you the door'. i guess time constraint and competitive surroundings make no space for compassion.

no wonder people are getting hostile, self-centered and edgy.

i dont want to be like that. but... i will lose out.

Bargain Wisely

"I bargained with Life for a penny,
And Life would pay no more,
However I begged at evening
When I counted my scanty store.

"For Life is a just employer,
He gives you what you ask,
But once you have set the wages,
Why, you must bear the task.

"I worked for a menial's hire,
Only to learn, dismayed,
That any wage I had asked of Life,
Life would have willingly paid."
-Jessie Belle Rittenhouse
(taken from Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill)

New Zealand

i remember vividly the phone call that i got from my brother, that one fine evening, last last year when i was in New Zealand. he called right after he spotted the picture i posted on facebook. my 21st bday, visit to the whorehouse strip club, lipstick stains on my boob and all. he was quite shocked and he thought someone else updated those pictures of mine. i still remember my reaction to his surprise, i was defensive. i was quite irked at being called up at random and questioned about what pictures i took and what i posted on facebook. i guess i must have sounded a lil too defensive when he retreated, no more questioning.

ahhh... New Zealand, the freedom, the lack of care. the love i got across continents. :)

tiny thoughts and mini rushes

contrary to popular belief,

i am actually quite immature.

confession no. 1107

it need not be far

Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.
– Louis E. Boone

where do you think is the closest heaven on Earth for you? the bedroom, the workstation, the great raw outdoors, the beach, underwater, in the middle of the green field?

for me, sometimes would be the bedroom, other times would either be the wilderness or the workstation. yeah, i sometimes find peace buried in work, escapade,sorta. the wilderness where noone knows me, noone can find me, noone is able to trace me.. the sense of anonymity. independence and survival.

where's your heaven on Earth?

panic

seen a panic tortoise, turned upside down, just inches away from the food? me, right now, that tortoise

tumblr is taking over my life, again

via stuffnoonetoldme

yes it does

sex sells

i have never doubted this

FUCK!!!!

my file decide to go MIA on me...

FUCK MY LIFE!

DO NOT add 'un' into 'certainty'

no, it's not easy. yes, it's definitely a struggle. i've contemplated to walk away, countless times. pride stopped me. i cannot quit my current chosen job, not with nothing in sight yet. maybe, maybe it is easier to let go when nothing solid is built, yet? no, i cannot let my clients down. problem is, the paradigm shift from employment to doing your own things takes longer than expected (and needed) for me. was way too comfortable doing routine jobs, finish up tasks given by boss, completing expected workloads and go off for the day. quietly anticipating the arrival of Fridays and dread the fast appearance of Mondays. my life has been far too comfortable.

i'm feeling the pinch of slow income building. feeling the pain of needing to adjust, manage my own time and workloads. it's all still quite a blur, management skills still suck, paperwork fails me. i am clearly a person who prefers to go out dancing (figuratively) than sitting in the office, writing reports on the different steps and techniques of a dance routine.

weird how when i am slowly beginning to settle down, other job opportunities show themselves. client i went to see offered me a job, my ex boss asked me to have a think of going back, and lina from jobstreet sent me interview requests. funny how life works, aint it? i know better, it's a test. a test of the will, a test of the perseverance, a test of character.

everything happens for a reason. it's like how i blindly stumble into Prudential, i always knew deep inside of me, it has a deeper meaning and a bigger picture to it. it's like how i got to know so many new friends by chance, and make effort to keep in contact, by choice. perks of the job, really.

am i tough? i better be

can I pretend that airplanes are shooting stars?

it has been a challenging career. just the other day i was in Penang, Intel Worksite Mktg. we had a booth about Will Writing. i seriously didn't know estate planning is so important, imagine the horror when you have a freak accident, died, and all your assets and properties got freezed? oh... the tragedy.

hearing stories about death claims, people with brain tumour, and most recently a lecturer with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE), and how they have benefited from insurance, it gives me so much pride being in this industry.

the industry's a classic case of not knowing the pain when you are not in the shoes, walking on that road.

very few people focus on the protection, people often sell savings plan. you know why? savings plan is hassle free (or so they claim.. simple, agents do not service the client, push them to deal with the company. which is not correct, btw), hits the production goals faster, and the agent gets to go for overseas trips, with just a few big fishes. people don't talk in the 'coverage and protection' language. they sell in terms of 'give me your money, i help you make more money'. this reality makes my job so much tougher. BUT i will survive! you need to hear me loud and clear on this. i will survive.

in the real world, shoes are not tailor-made

i am the architect of my own life blocks, the writer of my own success story. the maker of the ink, the guide of the pen. i am the narrator, the lead actress, both the subject and the object. i am the very whole story. it's just chapter 1.

cliché is when..

me : abt 4 or 5 years ago

me : most recent

nothing much changed, my eyebags are still there, my hair is still long, i still have a nice smile.

but the amount of thoughts, the experiences, the voices, the lessons, the tears, the pride, the laughters, the burden, the realisation, the shock and anger, the growth.. the oxymoron.

cliché is when i say i will never have it happen differently

and so Karen realises that she has a certain professional image to retain, and a certain degree of good behaviour to nurture and to maintain.

and so, a line she goes to draw

broken and crooked lines, soft, not solid. a line nevertheless

goodbye to sexy-publicly-cyber-thoughts? i will think abt it

apparently snails are confused creatures

karen wants a beer

just one will do, for now . . .

i have not gotten the time to update everyone and anyone on my life changing experience

tough life i am choosing, but the harder it is to plant a seed, the bigger the fruits, no?

alternatively, liquor is not such a bad idea. jeeeez, whatever happens to males around?

my horny aunty stories

statcounter actually tells me that there are people who arrives at my other blog by searches of 'my horny aunt stories'. and one particular entry that was linked on my blog page is one that says my dad has been admitted to the hospital thanks to my aunt pestering him.

wonder if that dude still continues on his search for more 'horny aunty stories' thereafter?

amusing what you find on internet search keywords

internet is the hypocrite, a witness and also savior of many poor souls out there.

i want the one with a red behind

so apparently girls are complete creatures because we have the XX chromosomes, while guys are not as complete because the Y in the XY combo lacks a tail.

does this explain the evolution that we are continuously experiencing, that more guys are becoming so metrosexual that they know more abt facials, whitening products etc than girls?

so it's like genitals are supposed to be complete when it's all nicely packed like a flower (and not some fruit looking thing hanging out), while boobs are supposed to be round, juicy fruits and not some haltedly developed washboard.

geeee, people around me crack me up so much i wish we can all opt to have monkey bodies after we die just so we can laugh at each other some more!

can you please hold my clutch?

if you were to google 'clutch', all the car informative pages will pop up, tonnes of websites and even more mechanical pictures of 'clutch' being shown. but they all weren't what i had in mind. i meant to google 'clutch bag'.

it was a classic case of gender incoherence when the boys didn't know what we meant when Mel said 'Aaron, can you please help me look for my clutch'. he was so confused and dazed, trying to understand Mel's question and/or request.

the natural thing/image that came to Aaron's mind was of course the 'clutch' that we find in cars, little did he (and in fact most guys) know, tht clutch has another meaning, a feminine side to it's well-known male dominated usage and vocab.

surprise, surprise, a clutch is a bag!

we had a pretty good laugh, over the guys' disbelief and relief that Mel didn't actually ask Aaron to find for her clutch (that's found in cars) (the fact that Mel didn't drive, they were almost convinced that Mel was cuckoo from her graduation joy).

nope, not this baby

imagine the horror when a guy goes on a first date and was told to hold the girl's clutch, with the guy only comprehending it's definition to be a car part. while the girl gets all furious that the guy refuses to do so, the guy will go off thinking the girl is a nut job.

now, that's life drama.

unscramble my thoughts

deaths highlight mortality

mortality reminds me to live

deaths tell me to let live

life shows me how to die a little

time forces me to speed

experience says i should have known better

memories sit in a corner

spaces scream 'fill me up'

milestone says mark the calendar

the heart says 'Forgive'

the brain says 'Forget'

i am confused

i wish i still matter

i am unmoved and i am scared

incisive

my ideal job would be to do nothing but write occasionally, laugh unpretentiously and to wander incautiously.

~~

i don't mean to be rude, it is an innocuous practice to challenge a remark with retort, it makes people think, it leads to brilliant play of words, it colors.

books

Shakespeare and Company

i deem a book good if some passages in its pages struck me, planted in me, moved me.

i deem a book good if its words jump out in my mind, uninvited, unintentionally, at the right time, to soothe the wrong feelings.

i deem a book good if i tell myself to get it for keepsake.

i deem a book good, for company.

i deem a book good, for memories.

i deem a book good, as an escapade.

stories

i heard a story, and it was a story of a girl, burnt to death.

the history was brief, her life a misery, ending's a tragedy. i hope she had happy days, real happy ones, knowing that most of her days were hell.

more often than not, sufferings are brought upon an individual by others, some are born into it, some are cornered, some didn't know better.

i'm sure most of you are curious as to what is her story, what happened and how did it happen, but i choose to respect the dead, eventhough i do not know you, but your story touched my heart and i feel sad. may you rest in peace.



i heard another story,recently, also of a girl,in fact a woman, being abused.

it is unfortunate, uncalled for, sad.

noone deserves to be abused, no matter the scale of wrongdoings done. wrong decisions made, and wrong turnings took. noone is deserving of another hand laying on her flesh, unless it is out of love. noone is above another.

i hope it ends soon.

we so need each other

XX : we love to cuddle..
XY : we love to cuddle too, just with different women.

WORD

troubled

"Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience." ~Victoria Holt

i connect easily with troubled people. sometimes i let on more than i wish when sharing life stories with people whom i can connect with. happy people scare me. optimistic individuals affect me.

"Why worry about things you can’t control when you can keep yourself busy controlling the things that depend on you?" Unknown

FB BAN

officially am on a self-imposed facebook ban, for a week, or more. starting from yesterday.


life is seemingly better, or so i thought.


one thing's for sure, more hours of sleep!

beauty of the game

dammit.... the 5th minute was so so sweet.

so sweet i can still taste it..

who could've thought that sweetness has a bitter aftertaste?!

fuck

liberalisation

now porn is an interesting topic of discussion.. from the storyline to the people starring in the porno, to the positions and length, the expressions and the best sites.

but, what do you think about girls who are not comfortable with their boyfriend/spouse/partner watching porno? i know some even go to extend of implementing strict 'no porno' campaign in their relationship.

what say you? possibility of insecurity? possessiveness?

and to the guys, how do you go around bending the 'rule'?

anonymous comments are most welcomed, for obvious reasons. personal experience will be good to share as well..

my personal opinion : porno is more enjoyable when watched together. as the saying goes "Show me a smoking hot beautiful woman and I'll show you a guy who is tired of fucking her." Goes to show no matter how hot the girlfriend is, the boyfriend will still get bored. it is only human. not much damage/harm, of course until he turns into a porn addict.

i'm a strong advocate of 'whatever happens in *tut*, stays in *tut*'. -fill in the blanks-

it's like a little secret i have with myself on my life.. of course, ruling out the second, third, fourth etc person that might be involved in whatever that happens in wherever *tut* locations.


mystery looks nice on me

same sex

can you deny that people live for other people?


can you deny the satisfaction when you get admirative glance from others, looking your way?


twice the satisfaction when it comes from the same sex, if you ask me

good things must be shared

what will it be like if there's two Karens?

how will the other Karen be like?

you reckon she will be just like how i am, or how do you think she will be like?

i think it would be havoc

confession : i secretly estimate how much people earn and justify their lives.

sometimes i feel better, sometimes i dont

skinny dip

looking into the pool, things seem bigger... all seems to be magnified, although it's somewhat a blur

is life like this as well? things get blown outta proportion, even when we're in a blur?

skinny dipping should be good.. one of these days

you know, we try hard to justify decisions that we make, things we buy, money we spend and time we waste.

and then we bitch about decisions others make, things others buy, how others spend their cash and we criticize the time others spend on doing nothing productive.

pretty clear isn't it. i do nothing wrong while he does nothing right.

well, just sayin'

i've always thought that lower case alphabets are humbling, don't you think so?

messy hair-do

i felt most free when my bikini-clad ass was enjoying the sun in a convertible with the roof down, cruising on the high way


i can safely say that i have lived, i think

the walls in my room, you have no idea....

i'm sensitive in a way that if people don't respond to me, i feel loathed.

exactly my thought

confession : i sometimes justify and forgive the wrong-doings that fat people do just because they are fat.

oh come on.. i never did say i am an angel.

dont hate me just cause you aint me

in reference to guys who talks about sex much

boys: it is perfectly normal, it's implanted in our heads, 24/7

girls: he's weird and creepy and looks like he has just masturbated for the 7th time. let's stay away from him

in reference to girls who talks about sex, ahem.. more than usual

boys: geeee girl, you're so cool. your reference to sex is way cooler than my sex-addict friend, Dick here!

girl 1: she is a slut.

girl 2: she is rude, too unladylike. how can she say such a thing.

girl 3: she's a disgrace to womankind.

girl 4: Dick!!! you have got to stop keeping in touch with her, this instance!

so, you see.. it's not easy being me.

it's easier to get away being open-minded with the opposite sex, if you are a girl.