Saturday, April 23, 2011

the feeling of being seen when in the sea of people, is wonderful.

Happy Easter all~

Friday, April 22, 2011

“You have to be always drunk. That’s all there is to it—it’s the only way. So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks your back and bends you to the earth, you have to be continually drunk.

But on what? Wine, poetry or virtue, as you wish. But be drunk.

And if sometimes, on the steps of a palace or the green grass of a ditch, in the mournful solitude of your room, you wake again, drunkenness already diminishing or gone, ask the wind, the wave, the star, the bird, the clock, everything that is flying, everything that is groaning, everything that is rolling, everything that is singing, everything that is speaking…ask what time it is and wind, wave, star, bird, clock will answer you: “It is time to be drunk! So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish.”
— Charles Baudelaire

distance

there is a reason why people keep the ones close at a distance, and the ones foreign, close.


when people get closer, it's harder to let out. those who are foreign could get nearer because they are still interesting, still new, still a blank notebook to be filled.. people who are close know too much and pose a higher risk to hurt. people who know, hurt.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

the one on dad..

now that dad is no longer here. my home is more peaceful. less fights, less tension, mostly trivial. and also, scarily, i don't want to think that it has turned superficial. strong emotions stem from genuine care and concern, deep and much love.

i miss him nevertheless.

RIP Dad, i still wonder.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

the Mother is in my head

the Sun has always wanted to leave. He has, for the longest time, longed to leave this space... to venture into another dimension, where nothing is real and he doesn't have to rise and set, he doesn't have to behave on HIS day, he doesn't have to be responsible for the flowers blooming, the trees fit and healthy, and human laughing among others.

the Sun has always wanted to do what he wants to do and not be responsible for 1 million other things that is solely/directly/indirectly dependant on him. he does not want to be liable.

the Sun, has always wanted to know what it feels like to be cold. the cold he feels inside is so far off in comparison to the cold that he cannot feel on the outside.

~

the Moon was the lost limb. the ugly toe, if i may. and the Moon is so blessed to have a simple mind with contentment in his heart. all he does is to dream the alternate life that he anticipates to being true, one of these days.

~

and the end will be when the bits and pieces of the limbs reconnect into something whole, and perfect.

Neil Gaiman and the thoughts of fragrance got me thinking...

Before SHE comes, she'll reach first.
Before SHE's here, she'll announce her presence.
Some smile, some scorn, some turn.
Before SHE speaks, she'll say first.

Before we know HER, the perfume(she) lingers..

Monday, April 4, 2011

the one on different sex

you know how women will look like they've aged ten years once they have kids, juggle between family and work, kids and husband? and how men will still age gracefully, shades of grey to hint sophistication and stability?

oh well, note to self: never be ordinary. be ordinary in an extraordinary way, if that day comes where i'm a proud mother and have a happy family, i'll make sure i look good being one!


Friday, April 1, 2011

the mind speaks

you know why i don't narrate about my life but write somewhat incoherent thoughts? because my life is a bore